PRACTICE
HINTS:
NEGOTIATION THEORY, STRATEGIES, AND SKILLS
Mediation is, in essence,
a three-way negotiation. The mediator negotiates his or her authority
and the terms of the mediation process with each party. As well, the
mediator then begins to effectively teach the parties to negotiate
between themselves.
Despite the prevalence and importance of negotiation
in our personal and professional lives, most people have learned how
to negotiate the same way they have learned how to parent-by "hit
and miss" or "seat of the pants". PREFERABLY, NEGOTIATION THEORY SKILLS
AND TECHNIQUES OUGHT TO BE STUDIED SYSTEMATICALLY AND COMPREHENSIVELY
SO AS TO INCREASE THE LIKELIHOOD OF AGREEMENTS OCCURRING MORE BY DESIGN
AND LESS BY CHANCE.
NEGOTIATION AS RITUAL AND DRAMA
Negotiation is typically thought of in business/economic
terms-how to maximize benefits and minimize risk, however, the negotiation
process is also ritual and drama. How people see and present themselves
to others in negotiation, gives a clear view not only to the parties
personal belief systems, but as well, to the value system of the culture
in which the negotiation takes place. Every culture has developed
certain rituals about the conduct of negotiation. A mediator or negotiator
must pay attention to those rituals or the negotiation will be ill-fated
from the start. Only after the rituals have been accommodated can
the negotiation frame or format be shifted to be more effective.
CULTURAL, RACIAL, ETHNIC AND GENDER DIFFERENCES IN NEGOTIATION
STYLE
There are many varied notions about negotiation drawn
from cultural, racial, ethical, religious and gender perspectives.
Most importantly, especially in family disputes, but in business conflicts
as well, gender is a significant factor in negotiation. (D. Kolb)
Men and women use language differently: men tend to make positional
statements and use language to solve problems, and women tend to ask
questions and use language to build rapport. (D. Tannen) The differences
extend into styles of negotiation; as a broad generalization, men
tend to overestimate their ability and women tend to underestimate
their ability to negotiate.
Further, as a broad generalization, in Western cultures
where rationalism is valued, "John Wayne" haunts us still; the "say
what you mean and mean what you say," "cut to the chase," positional
offer/counter-offer ritual of negotiation is prevalent. In Eastern
cultures, where face-saving is critical and, custom and tradition
are highly valued, the process and ceremony of negotiation is more
important, in some instances, even than the outcome or "closing the
deal." Thus, Westerners tend to view Asian and Middle-Easterners as
"shifty" and inscrutable "they never mean what they say or say what
they mean to your face" Westerners are conversely viewed as rude.
Religion and history may also color the negotiation process.
For instance, people from some religious or ethnic backgrounds tend
to more easily engage in the negotiation-bargaining process, while
others disdain bargaining as unseemly or even immoral. Differences
in approach and style of negotiation develop not only between groups
of people but within those groupings. The purpose in raising these
considerations is not to play into or perpetuate stereotypes, but
merely to raise the awareness of the multitude of variables that affect
the negotiation process. More importantly, however, across cultural,
racial, ethnic and gender differences, most people want to settle
conflict and save face. (See "Negotiation and Evil: The Sources of
Religious and Moral Resistance to the Settlement of Conflicts." Robert
D. Benjamin, Mediation Quarterly, vol. 15, no. 3, Spring 1998. Jossey-Bass
Publishers, San Francisco, Calif.)
AVOID OVER-SIMPLISTIC NOTIONS OF NEGOTIATION
Many people think about negotiators as either of the
hard and competitive "get all you can" variety, or the soft, cooperative
"give in to keep the peace" kind. Develop an approach to negotiation
that emphasizes being realistic and good business practice that is
neither opportunistic or naive. (See "The Protean Negotiator."
Be pragmatic. Do a deal because it meets enough of your
interests and accommodates some of the other party's needs as well.
Those agreements are the most likely to be resilient.
Tend to avoid primitive or coercive negotiation styles
that rely on ultimatums ("do it or else") or humanistic or altruistic
styles ("do it because it is 'the right thing to do'"). Agreements
based on these approaches can often contain hidden resentments.
DO NOT LISTEN TO WORDS OR POSITIONS. THEY CAN BE MISLEADING; INSTEAD
LEARN TO HEAR THE UNDERLYING CONCERNS, FEARS, AND REAL ISSUES
Keep in mind that positional statements are often merely
defensive postures and reflect underlying insecurity or fear of loss.
If the underlying concerns can be addressed the positional bargaining
and posturing will be minimized.
The positional games that most people play in negotiation
are often a reflection of their fears. The "high/low" device, for
instance, tries to avoid being taken advantage of or looking like
a fool-"I don't want to ask for too little or offer too much." Games
cannot be entirely avoided, but they can be minimized by addressing
the real concerns more directly.
PEOPLE DO NOT LIKE TO NEGOTIATE; THERE IS A CULTURAL RESISTANCE
TO NEGOTIATE
For many, negotiation is tantamount to compromising your
principles-"giving in" or "selling out." Restyle the negotiation process,
not as compromising, but rather, getting enough of what you want in
a way that allows the other to also get some of what he or she needs.
CONSIDER YOUR OWN BIASES ABOUT NEGOTIATION
For some, those who "dicker over everything"
and seem to be "nickle and diming" trigger negative responses;
for others, those who are too rigid, "It's my way or the highway"
are difficult. Those approaches may be remnants of ingrained rituals.
If the mediator has a strong sense of the "right way"
to negotiate, his or her ritual may collide with one or both of
the parties.
CHALLENGE AND FILTER CONVENTIONAL WISDOMS ABOUT NEGOTIATION
For instance, an all
too easy assumption to make is that "people are greedy"-that
they want something for nothing. It may be they just do not want
to look like a fool in the negotiation.
A helpful alternative
operating premise may be that people do want to settle conflict,
they merely want to "save face."
CONSIDER TIMING AND STRATEGY - "NO CONFLICT BEFORE ITS TIME";
SLOW DOWN THE PROCESS. DISCOURAGE "CUTTING TO THE CHASE"
Do not let the parties
begin to actually negotiate until you sense the following:
1.
They both have necessary and sufficient information;
2. They both know all of the issues-the apparent ones and
others they may not have thought about.
3. They know most of the options available.
4. They have considered the pros and cons of each option
and the corresponding transaction
costs. |
Most negotiations fail because one or both parties is operating
out of fear or confusion or is making unwarranted assumptions
based on misinformation or no information. Just as in war, the
strategic planning is as important as the execution; in negotiation,
preparing a solid foundation for the negotiations is essential.
("Guerilla Mediation: The Use of Warfare Strate-gies in the Management
of Conflict," R. D. Benjamin, www.mediate.com/rbenjamin/articles.,
1999).
ESPECIALLY IN DIFFICULT MATTERS, DO NOT EXPECT PARTIES TO MAKE
SHIFTS IN THEIR PERSPECTIVES GREATER THAN THEIR ABILITY TO ASSIMILATE
THOSE CHANGES. (J. Haynes).
DON'T JUST LISTEN TO WORDS, HEAR THE UNDERLYING CONCERNS THAT
PARTIES ARE TRYING TO EXPRESS:
Positional statements are predominately defensive
postures-statements about underlying fears. "I want joint custody"
may be more about the fear of losing one's relationship with children
than about the amount of time or form of custody.
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